How many more children must suffer this insanity of being deprived from their own parents under our current system?
"My aunt came home with a forlorn expression on her face, I wondered if it was due to her working late the night before. I ran into the kitchen to get her some water, and she gently tugged at my hand pulling me to her side and gesturing for me to sit in her lap. She asked me if I had completed my homework, and I politely replied her that indeed I have and have placed the books back into my school bag least I forget them. I had to be polite, I was afterall living in their home for the past two months.
She then told me that she did not attend work that day but she had followed my Mother to Family Court, I was eight not knowing or realizing what that meant, I childishly asked why my mother had not returned home with her. She replied that my Mother had gone to have further discussions with the Lawyer and that henceforth I will be staying with them. They were fantastic people, I loved them and was spoilt to the core by my cousins and aunt, however I sorely missed my bedroom and my Fathers voice, not to mention my neighbours and relatives who were frequent visitors in my Father's house.
My Aunt explained to me very vaguely that the courts had decided that I should only stay with my Mother, They asked me very plainly in a room filled with sorely prejudiced people, if I wanted my uncaring, evil and cruel father who bullied my mother to see me, I was 8 and I without hesitating replied “No”. I at 33 now see that as nothing more than ignorant adults bullying a young child, into seeing things their way.
That is the last memory I had before two years later when I had grown accustomed to my not seeing my father had one sided information drummed into both my ears, I hated my father, and no it was not because of what my Aunt's or Mother had told me. Rather it was the utter and complete feeling of being abandoned by him, my mother remarried shortly after and I started addressing my step dad has Father, if not only for my mothers amusement.
My Mother was a loving human being, and she was a kind soul, however the rift and hate that resulted from the separation and the egging on from the relatives painted the hate one would normally expect from a bitter divorce. Mother never did say much about my dad except the fact that he had never cared for me not provided for me. My father was a drunk, and the pressure my mothers side of the family exerted on him for insisting my mother change her religion to that of my fathers was always the spark that lit the flames of anger and verbal abuse.
My Mother raised me to be a fine gentleman, however the hatred towards my father never did die out, even after I had turned 21 and realized my mother's relatives were wrong. In that the fault primarily rested on both my mum and dad's shoulders. I was 25 and working well, studying towards my degree in Science and at this point of time, me and my father had met a few times over the course of few years and were on talking terms again. Sadly the hatred never really went away, it was always the same thing, the same feeling I had during the Fall of 1986 when I was the only child in my school who won the Sports day but had only my Mother there, at 25 it was the same feeling why did my Father stop fighting for me.
My Father has since passed on this year and I did not get to speak to him nor bid him farewell, I no longer hate him, but now regret has filled that particular void. Why did I stop fighting for him ....
I hope people soon realize Parental Alienation has many faces, I never saw the Judge, I never knew the exact state of affairs untill much later in my adult life. Calling it a travesty would be to put it very mildly. I was stripped of the Love a child so rightly deserves without even my participation.
Parental Alienation is real and it is painful, for me standing at the crossroads of my life where I will be a Father in the very near future makes me stop and think how it must have been for my Father who lost his only son......
Never stop fighting for your children, they depend on both the parents, they need both the parents, they should have both the parents."
David Silas King (with his dad in the photo)
(first posted on Facebook, 5 August 2010)